Bruce's Journal - Part 3

Sunrise, Maundy Thursday, 1972 at "The Living Word"

I don't know where, when, or how, but our new health centre (books, health foods and several related etceteras will be called "The Living Word". For a month we have been carrying Swiss Herbal Remedies which Rolf Zimmerman was good enough to leave on consignment. I am looking to this new impulse to help us with our task. Douglas and Else have been very generous in their financial support, But, since the rest of Gerrard Street West is being razed we are still unviable financially. I hope and pray that we can solve this problem soon.

[I should mention here that relations with Douglas and Elsa were becoming a bit strained. They had invited me to become a partner in the Steiner Book Centre, which I accepted. They then insisted (particularly Elsa) that I vote with them to have Mrs Grieve removed from the partnership. I refused. Since they were very rich they were used to having their way with any decision they made in the anthroposophical community of Canada. I therefore no longer was considered "their boy".]

March 28, 1973: Obviously, much has transpired since the last entry on Maundy Thursday of 1972. Here it is Passion Tide already and not a single entry into the journal for a year.
To start roughly where I left off last year: Mrs Grieve thought that The Living Word would be too easily misconstrued by people. Some would think it a sacrilege while others might think it a holier-than-thou ego trip. In either case the[ir] reaction would be inappropriate. [I immediately saw the wisdom of her words, but in my new-found passion for anthroposophy strongly resisted changing the name. Finally, after many days of deep meditation, I felt that "Living Seed Health Centre" would be a suitable compromise. [Curiously enough, the Rev Werner Grimm later criticised my choice, saying that it reminded him of sperm!] Anyway, Rolf was kind enough to loan me two thousand dollars and a generous supply of food supplements etc. on consignment. In April I found an empty store at the beautiful address of 181 Avenue Road. I enquired of the neighbours as to the phone number of the owner, called for an appointment and, along with George Wilson, went through the building rather quickly. It consists of a home converted into a store; seven bedrooms, a bath-and-a-half, a cellar and a small back yard. Rent for the building was $575/mo. Without even so much as a clue as to who would move in (George didn't even commit himself), I signed the lease with Jack Altman for 2 years with a 2 year option. I had no idea who would move in, but I knew that I would have to fill the house within a month or I would go under.
Amazingly, they appeared! First, Sue Brown - who helped out in the store for practically nothing; then George, then Ursula Ziegler, Richard Armour, and finally Ginger, whom I neither invited nor forbade. She took two rooms, one of which was no bigger than her huge king-size bed. [The saga of Ginger's and my relationship is beyond the scope of this narrative. Suffice it to say that she played a key karmic role in my life during these transformative years. I am eternally grateful to her for introducing me to Bill and Laura Findlay, who in turn introduced me to anthroposophy.]

George Wilson

This is a good opportunity to reflect on the life and deeds of George Wilson. I have very warm memories of the time we spent together at the Living Seed. He was one of the first anthroposophists that I met, and I was inspired by his energy and enthusiasm. As the years progressed, however, it seemed to me that he became increasingly superficial and problematic - - I missed the person I had met initially.
By clarifying these matters of the heart, I can begin to see the light shining again. I can forgive, and be inspired again.
George died on August 16, 1994, and our reunion will occur on the 14th anniversary of his death.

Bruce's Journal - Part 2

Thursday, August 12, 1971, 11 AM
Ginger and I worked over the weekend preparing the signs, painting and designing the stencil for the sign. Sunday evening was spent at a lawn party at Rev. Grimm's where we had an opportunity to notify several people about the opening.

January 30, 1972: Yesterday (Saturday) afforded us the opportunity to move the store from 19 to 25 Gerrard St. West. A large group of people came to assist me and I would like to record their names here:
Ginger [Beverley] Holcombe, Ero Talvila, Allen Rosen, Ed Flory, Eric Lockwood, Wm. Armitage, Norm Taylor, Frank Descours, Wain Farrants, James Huston (Grandson of Else)

The old location was eight steps above the street and not al all conducive to impulse trade. We now have a large window which can be seen by passersby. Further, there is storage space in the basement. The rent is the same ($150 per month).

Monday, February 1, 1972: Today in the midst of the utter chaos of moving and fighting an incipient flu, I received word that practically all the stores on the block are to be vacated by the end of the month. Only three will remain standing: The Village Book Store, Las Heramanes, and the new location of Michael Books and Crafts.

[All three of which were soon to close. Tom Tate, mentioned above, had been acting as agent for the Cologne Investment and Real Estate Company Ltd., who had been quietly buying up as much of the block as they could. This became the site for the Chelsea Motor Inn, later called the Delta Chelsea Inn.
[Needless to say, this was one of the blackest, most trying days of my life. I was sorely tempted to give up the entire book venture. Broke, sick, surrounded by the bleak snows of winter, and without a foreseeable source of income, I had to dig deep, deep into my will to make the decision to carry on. Even now as I transcribe these notes in the summer of 2008 I can still feel echoes of the blackness that permeated my soul on that awful day. .
[Incidentally, whilst at 19 Gerrard St. W., whenever someone flushed the toilet upstairs, there was a leak through the ceiling in my back room. As a curious bit of cosmic humour, this appears to be the same location where the Arboritum now stands with its magnificent central fountain which, to me, commemorates with its glorious abandon that wretched, leaky toilet.]

Both Sides Now

Tim Nadelle told me today about a recent concert with Judy Collins, who said that our generation will never get "old". It got me thinking about her song about clouds, and how important it is to appreciate all aspects of life, not just the warm and fuzzy stuff. In the spirit of her song, here are some paraphrased quotes from recent conversations:
- " I felt very comfortable speaking about spiritual things there...I really appreciated that it was possible to hear from lots of different perspectives."
- "It all felt really "New-Agey" to me and I made a point of avoiding the place..."
- "I was only there for a short time, but it made a huge impact...the place was very different when I returned some years later..."
- "I avoided going to the Seed because it seemed unhealthy socially and spiritually..."
- "I'd pretty much forgotten about the Seed, but when I saw the list of seedlings in the blog, I realized that I have a strong connection to many of these people, so I'm really looking forward to the reunion"

There is alot to reflect on. I actually appreciate the "negative" comments, because they help me to become more objective about my own experiences. Was I just looking at the world through rose-coloured glasses, or was there indeed something of the eternal spirit present?

Bruce's Journal With Recent Notes - Part 1

July 26, 1971: Today, at seven minutes past two in the afternoon, a cheque from Else Andress to Tom Tate was handed over to Tom by me [in his store, The Tate Gallery] at 31 Gerrard St. W., Toronto. A sudden and violent rainstorm had been building up for the past few minutes and, at the exact moment the cheque was handed over mighty rumblings of thunder filled the nearby skies. The unexpected, loud peel of thunder suddenly reminded me of the momentousness of the occasion...for at that moment the first public anthroposophical bookstore in Canada was born into the physical world.
It represented the culmination of years of work by Else and Douglas Andress, Isobel Grieve, and Pat Kettle (who had moved to England.) These people were instrumental in organising the Steiner Book Centre some three years ago. It will now be my task to build on their fine foundation and carry the Spiritual Influence of the Anthroposophical Movement to the Canadian public through the books and lectures of Rudolf Steiner and others.
May I be equal to the task!

Tuesday, July 27: I learned today from Ginger that a worker was killed by lightning yesterday at Woodbine & Steeles, He was Ilanio Batti, 34.

Since Yonge Street will be closed off from Gerrard to Dundas for a week beginning August 12, we have decided to redouble our efforts and open our doors to the public...

Steiner's “Spider Lectures” & the World Wide Web

Following on from Bob Bryden's final thought of how electricity touches everybody, I'm reminded of how the librarian at Emerson College (when I was “back there in seminary school” in 1975) suggested I look into what she called Steiner's “Spider lectures”. I never did look at them but from what little she told me about them, I wonder, looking back, whether in some sense they prefigured or foreshadowed what we now know and share as “the world-wide web”. Now, that's something that really does touch a lot of people, and it touches them deeply. If anyone out there knows more about these lectures, please feel free to add some comments! And yes, Jim, I'm looking at you.

The reference library was my favourite hangout at Emerson College and I'd often spend my evenings there, plowing through back issues of obscure and antique anthroposophical journals – stuff from the likes of Kolisko and W. J. Stein. But I wasn't the only one. Betsy was often there too. Betsy was from New England, where she had finished a degree in divinity or religious studies at Princeton. And there was another guy there too who'd graduated from some military academy in the states. I've forgotten his name.

Following on the subject of rock and roll, I remember insisting that Betsy sing the Linda Ronstadt/Stone Ponies tune “Different Drum” for me, accompanied by her guitar, even though I knew that wasn't at all what she would have had to say to me. And I'd often join her in a rousing rendition of David Bowie's “Suffragette City”, which was also my choice of song and which I wanted to sing just because it seemed like such an edgy thing to sing in that setting. Yeah, we did this in the reference library, late at night when there was no one else around. I know, as confessions go, it's pretty lame.

Can Anthroposophy Rock-and-Roll? A 2008 Review.

Can Anthroposophy Rock and Roll? – A Review

Recent communication with old anthroposophical friends Richard Chomko and Mark McCalister wherein they both recalled me posing the title question decades ago, has prompted me to think some things through once again.
Any foray like this on my part must, however, be prefaced with the fact that I have had no contact with the Anhroposophical Society or any of it’s offshoots since approximately 1985! Please keep my ignorance of any recent developments within the society in mind and I will do the same when endeavouring to review the original question. (Apart from seeing the occasional ‘Waldorf’ bumper sticker [I had to laugh], ironically my only other sighting of anything Anthroposophical in recent decades came by way of a notable but little seen Canadian film called ‘A Stone’s Throw’ where one of the main characters is, in fact, a Waldorf teacher!)
The real and latent question in the subtext of my original merry question was and is obviously: ‘Can anthroposophy be a vital and dynamic force in the frantic, super-charged modern [now ‘post-modern’] world?’
I must state immediately that this very tainted world needs powerful ‘antidotes’ and in that regard, Anthroposophy and other sincere spiritual pursuits are unquestionably valid – despite any tendencies to the pedantic.
For me, the aspect that still comes to mind firstly – is the electric one. Or rather – Steiner’s supposition that any art which is transmitted through electronic means is at best questionable and at worst damaging. (Forgive me – if I’m oversimplifying or happened to miss 2 or 3 hundred other lectures where he expanded upon this! It’s pretty hard to keep accurate account of an output that is purported to include some 2,000 published works!)
I have a love / hate relationship with the electronic media – which has, of course, become more electric than ever in recent decades. One day I loathe it and am overwhelmed under it’s weight and the next day I am fascinated and enamoured at it’s wondrous communations potential! Steiner would no doubt offer a ‘quality over quantity’ argument at this point. Something I could not deny. We communicate more but certainly not necessarily better!
I sometimes have wondered exactly how Rudolf Steiner would have reacted viscerally to the media barrage we all normally sit under on any given day. (Given the onslaught, if Steiner’s ‘charge’ is valid – then we must all be truly doomed!)
A few years ago – I had a chance to experience something possibly akin to ‘taking uncle Rudolf to the movies.’. I invited the late, controversial but unquestionably prolific and sincere Jewish-Christian apostle and author, Arthur Katz from Brooklyn to my local Cineplex. Katz had not been to a movie in decades. After the screening of a reasonably intelligent film wherein the 80-plus year old Katz remained completely silent, I wasn’t at all surprised to find THAT HE WAS HORRIFED. His stated reaction had less to do with the film itself – but had more to do with his perceptions of the chaotic, spiritually anarchic and destructive ‘arcade’-like atmosphere of the facility and the ‘medium’ itself. O well.
Rock-and-Roll and cinema in particular are children of electricity – and would not exist without it. They are
Inseparable. (Let me define my terms: by ‘rock-and-roll’ I refer to most of the popular ‘music of the folk’ that has been produced since the turn of the 20th century. Any music that relied primarily upon electronic instruments for it’s performance and/or electronic media for it’s transmission or production.) Cinema is obvious. Without electricity we would not be sitting in those dark chambers having our imaginations touched by the flickering light on the screen.
So, for me, it comes down to a matter of taste, discernment and discipline. Having been a ‘rock-and-roller’ for most of my life, I am more aware than anyone of how the volume and intensity of the music can be harmful. It’s imperative that I rest my entire being after any time period where I’ve been active in ‘the music’.
One needs to approach these things with great discretion.
There’s so much awful stuff – but the baby need not be thrown out with the bath water. Through the lp’s (remember those), the CD’s and now the MP3’s, etc., etc. – I am able to hear and ‘sample’ music and artist’s works that I would otherwise NEVER have been exposed to. The same goes for cinema. For this – I am supremely grateful to the electronic powers that be. The moral content of the music and the films will always remain a matter of disernment. The fact that I am exposed to views and opinions radically different than mine is not a matter for offense but stimulates thought and discussion.
On a ‘Waldorf’ note for a moment: When I am asked by the uninitiated to explain ‘Waldorf’ education – my immediate response is usually: ‘Nothing before it’s time.’ I invite my ‘argument’ to be gleefully chucked out of the nearest window when the subject comes down to that of young children. I would probably agree most heartily with almost anything Herr Steiner had to say when it comes to the nurturing of these tender shoots. I am terribly bothered by the irresponsible way most ‘modern’ parents allow their children free reign in their ingesting of TV, videogames and the complete lack of discernment in what movies they allow their children to see, etc., etc.
If we thought our souls were being ‘branded’ irreparably in the 1950’s and 1960’s – what is happening to the inner state of children and young people today!?!
At this juncture – it then comes down to a matter of faith. Do we have enough faith to believe that Godly, spiritual forces are grander and more powerful than anything man, Lucifer or ahriman can throw against the human race? Because the onslaught is so vicious, random and unrelenting – I have no choice but to assume this kind of faithful attitude. Each one of us must follow our own conscience and try as we may to disentangle truth from the tangled mess that is presented to us every day. Electricity touches everyone.

Bob Bryden, July 23, 2008